I Could REALLY Go For A Mint Ice Cream Drumstick Right Now

On my latest outing to family video... just try and follow the logical progression:


sntmaybe... sneextwell...sneaext uhhh...sneakxt FTW!

There was just so much great shit. But, believe you me, I picked a winner.

This gives me really bad anxiety...but it's really awesome.

And you know you work with picky, middle-to-late-aged parents when the vending machine has...

Possible Employment: Ice Cream Man?

Actually, I'd probably eat all the inventory, scare the children, and broadcast my own music.

Maybe I could get a job in the private detective business..?

BONERIFIC!

0:57 p0wned

P.S. wow, shit show.

HAPPY 21ST POST!

HEEEEEYAAAAHHH!

Fact: The Onion is delivered and distributed in a '90s Plymouth Sport Wagon, probably the GRAND Voyager for the increased cargo area.

Kudos to them for keeping their costs down by using this great machine. I would go as far to say it could possibly be THE original minivan used by the two Madison founders to distribute their creation, but it looks to be a generation II model (post 1988), so scratch that.

Sometimes, I Hurt Myself

I admit it. Look, I can't be the perfect person you have come to expect ALL THE TIME. So, like 99.21% of the time I pull off sick ace shit. And the rest of the percents you ask? I break my ankle. All for you enjoyment.