I Could REALLY Go For A Mint Ice Cream Drumstick Right Now

On my latest outing to family video... just try and follow the logical progression:


sntmaybe... sneextwell...sneaext uhhh...sneakxt FTW!

There was just so much great shit. But, believe you me, I picked a winner.

This gives me really bad anxiety...but it's really awesome.

And you know you work with picky, middle-to-late-aged parents when the vending machine has...

Possible Employment: Ice Cream Man?

Actually, I'd probably eat all the inventory, scare the children, and broadcast my own music.

Maybe I could get a job in the private detective business..?

BONERIFIC!

0:57 p0wned

P.S. wow, shit show.

HAPPY 21ST POST!

HEEEEEYAAAAHHH!

Fact: The Onion is delivered and distributed in a '90s Plymouth Sport Wagon, probably the GRAND Voyager for the increased cargo area.

Kudos to them for keeping their costs down by using this great machine. I would go as far to say it could possibly be THE original minivan used by the two Madison founders to distribute their creation, but it looks to be a generation II model (post 1988), so scratch that.

Sometimes, I Hurt Myself

I admit it. Look, I can't be the perfect person you have come to expect ALL THE TIME. So, like 99.21% of the time I pull off sick ace shit. And the rest of the percents you ask? I break my ankle. All for you enjoyment.

First Vid

So, posted the sweet skillz basketball vidddd like I promised. Check that shiat out. Until I can come up with something better... this was kinda like a test run, err shootout. Let me know what/how you think/feel/react/much-amount-of-awe-you're-in!

The Next Big Thing...

omgomgomgomgomgomg so I'm currently in production for my highly anticipated sweet skillz basketball vidddd by yours truly. Gosh, its gonna be good. You won't even know how to react, it's gonna blow your mind. Your socks will be so knocked off, like, across the room far. So...be prepared, you've been warned. Dig out those sock suspenders from the closet (never mind that it's broken, still keeps shit hung up, thanks for offering to fix it). Unless you're like me, who keeps 'em handy for whenever my idol announces a new vid about his sweet skillz basketball vid that's currently in production. Oh, the things I go through for y'all, sheesh.